One-Shot: Romeo, Stay Away from Juliet
by LawrenceDaddarioWatsonStewart
Summary: A re-imagining of Season 2, Episode 9, in which Tristan goes through with the performance, but it is of the whole play of Romeo and Juliet. And Luke is there to see it... Hilarity ensues! Enjoy!


**One-Shot: Romeo, Stay Away from Juliet**

There were worse ways to spend a Friday night. Dinner with her parents being the highest on the list. So, any excuse to get out of the ritual, at least for a week, was welcomed by Lorelai Gilmore.

Chilton Academy was putting on their fall play. This year, it was Romeo and Juliet, and her daughter Rory was playing the female lead. Lorelai had invited her friends, Sookie St. James and Luke Danes, as well as Rory's boyfriend, Dean Forrester, to join her.

Now, the quartet sat four across about mid-deep in the theatre house, watching the performance. According to the program, they were mid-way through the first act, and had now reached the pivotal scene where Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love. Tristan Dugray, much to Lorelai's chagrin, was playing Romeo. Honestly, after what she had heard about him from Rory, she was amazed the blonde pretty boy knew his lines as well as he did. Lorelai had always been under the impression that Tristan was as dumb as a rock.

"I thought you said this kid couldn't act," Luke dryly muttered in Lorelai's ear from where he was seated next to her. "Or... do much of anything."

"Surprises happen every day," Lorelai shrugged.

"Yeah," Dean hissed. "What hit him in the head that made him suddenly remember something beyond his own name?" Lorelai snorted.

"... and thus, my sin is purged!" Tristan, as Romeo, proclaimed. And then, the big moment. He took Rory, as Juliet in his arms and kissed her. Rory did her best to kiss him back, even as Lorelai could only imagine what her poor daughter was thinking. The Inn Manager was no thespian - Richard had even called her a Philistine once, which apparently was something of an insult in that world - but she knew that even with stage kisses, good acting had to be involved. Lorelai had been in a drama class herself in high school, and one assignment had been staging a scene kiss. Thankfully, her partner had been Christopher, Rory's father, so no acting had been involved.

Meanwhile, as Tristan and Rory continued what turned into a make-out session by Shakespearean standards, Lorelai noticed that both Luke to her right and Dean to her left were growing increasingly uncomfortable. At last, Luke stood up. "I need to go to the restroom."

"I'll go with you!" Dean volunteered, attempting to scramble out of his seat and around Lorelai.

Lorelai stifled a giggle. Girls going to the bathroom together was one thing, but guys? Especially these two guys who were more alike than either of them would even let on? She couldn't help but suspect that this had something to do with Rory.

Tristan now had Rory up against a fake wall. This kiss was getting out of control. Lorelai tried to think back to when she had read the play in school. Wasn't someone supposed to come on and interrupt them? Had someone missed a cue?

Watching the display, Luke's eyes narrowed dangerously. He and Dean looked at each other, and despite that they had fought each other the last time they had met, some kind of understanding seemed to pass between them.

"You get Rory, I'll take Pretty Boy?" Luke asked.

"Not if I beat you there first!" Dean said flatly.

Then, before Lorelai knew what was happening, Luke and Dean were scrambling out of their seats, out of their row and sprinting down the aisle. "Oh my God, Luke! Dean!" she called in a kind of stage whisper, just loud enough for the people in the row ahead of hers to give her a puzzled look.

They didn't stay puzzled for long. Luke, in all his flannel glory, and Dean, in a leather jacket, stormed the stage, looking out of place in the fabricated Elizabethan world. Indeed, they looked like they had tumbled in from another dimension. Of course, being younger and fitter than the diner owner, Dean beat Luke onto the stage, tackling Tristan so that the young boys crashed into the fake set wall. Luke, meanwhile, picked Rory up and carried her away; he made sure to keep a good distance from where Dean and Tristan were now punching and rolling around on the ground. Perhaps it was better that Dean had gone for Tristan, for if it had been Luke, the older man would have surely killed him.

Rory kicked and flailed in Luke's grasp, absolutely mortified. No more so than her mother, who now felt the need to rush the stage herself. She focused on Dean first.

"Dean... get OFF of him!" She pulled the boys apart, and only then did she realize - to her horror - that she was onstage. She tried to play it off as though this brawl was part of the show. "Thy saucy boys... put up your swords! Hold! Uh... hold, for your lives!"

Lorelai faced Luke. "Good sir, release thy daughter at once!"

Luke gawped at her. Ignoring the pride in his chest at being referred to as Rory's father, he breathed, "What?" What on Earth was this woman doing?

The guy playing Sir Capulet now came out of the wings, staring at Luke as though the Diner man had usurped his authority or something. The Nurse now followed, having indeed missed her cue.

Lorelai cleared her throat awkwardly. "Carry on." Luke set Rory down and as the three out-of-place characters traipsed off the stage, Lorelai turned to Tristan. "Get thee to a nunnery... hospital... whatever!"

The scene picked up where it left off as best it could, and the curtain soon closed on Act I with thunderous applause.

* * *

After the show, on the ride home, Rory refused to speak to her mother, father figure, or boyfriend. She pointedly only chatted with a shaken Sookie all the way back to Stars Hollow. It wouldn't be until later that she would thank her guys for defending her honor.


End file.
